Gripes (II): Far from the Madding Crowd

No matter where I go some things never change . . . things that make me mad . . .

People who meet me have a bizarre obsession, an obsession which rears its ugly head so often it drives me insane. It is the obsession with being normal, with being afraid of being seen to be not normal, with being afraid of anyone else who somehow deviates from an accepted path of normality.

And it drives me mad.

Now, I like to go to a certain famous place here in Changwon, a place which is a known hangout for foreigners. Alas, one drawback of this is that my solitariness is regarded as an 'abnormality' which can only be cured by trying persistently to persuade me that being a bachelor is deviant behaviour and getting close female company is required.

I hate this.

I cannot imagine myself being anything but dead within a week if forced to exist or cohabit with another person. I like my solitude; it allows me to think clearly and to do the things I like to do, which often require concentration, without continually being interrupted and distracted; there is and has never been anything that I desire greater than to be as far away from crowds as possible. Yet this desire to see me 'partnered up' seems to be becoming pathological on the parts of those around me.

And it drives me MAD.

As I have been getting older, the notion has become deeply implanted within me that I do not need the constant attention of others; I keep out of other peoples' faces as much as possible nowadays. Contrariwise, I expect others to respect me and my personal space, and when they start wheedling and whining at me about this, I actually regard this as an invasion of my privacy, and indeed, expressive of some deep fear on their part. Fear of the unusual. The "abnormal". Fear of those for whom solitude and the benefits it brings in terms of focus and direction are important, benefits which their lives seem to lack because they keep each other distracted all the time.

Reading this, some critic might claim that by taking a solitary path, I am refusing myself all of the social interactions which most people consider essential and 'life-confirming'. Man, I beg to differ. Most people live their lives and die without ever having had any idea what they wanted or how to improve their lot; they live and die as slaves to a system whose basic tenet is that ordinary people are stupid and need to be controlled. And when people start whining at me, all that I can see is how they are controlled; that the controlled masses must conform to certain types of behaviour and if they do not, they are considered 'abnormal'.

Hey, I LIKE being this way. It makes me HAPPY.

Why do people have some kind of problem with that?

This topic is not open to discussion or negotiation. This is my life, and it is PRIVATE. I do not have any interest in the lives of others and in turn, I expect to be left alone.

And as to the question of 'getting a girlfriend' or 'getting married', my only real response is that I am not now, nor have I ever been, psychologically or physically suited to it. And I no longer care what other people think. I have my own life to lead and I want to do so as I (and only I) feel is correct. Only I can decide this. No-one else has any business in this area.

Got it???

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